January 2: I did a few nice things (like saying nice things, taking a farther parking space), but tried a hard one for me. I forgave someone an offense. I don’t mean that “forgive them to make yourself feel better” or “forgive but don’t forget” or “forgive without excusing” or any of that stuff that usually sounds like a new flavor of denial to me. I mean I sat down and really thought myself through the offense until I could feel empathy for the other person and come to a place where I’m no longer bothered by the offense. I don’t feel the need to bring it up next time I’m drunk or thinly veil it in a fictional character or pull it out of hiding if this person hurts me in the future.  I don’t know that I’ve ever consciously done this before. I think I’ve tried. And, granted, this was not a huge offense. And I have no intention of changing anything outwardly between me and this person. Still, it feels good to not have that energy stinking up the air between me and another person on the planet.

Category: Niceness
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One Response
  1. Melissa says:

    Cindie, I just saw this and had to page back to see how it all started. Good for you and your neural networks.
    I totally understand where you’re coming from. A casual friend, “Ursula,” recently offended me. Unlike you, I wasn’t able to work through it in a day. At first, I just found myself avoiding Ursula, including Facebook posts. Finally, I admitted, “I’m mad. Should I talk to Ursula? Is it worth it? Should i just forgive and forget, since we’re not good friends anyway? But I’m mad at her!”
    For me, I had to ride the wave of emotion before I forgave her. From my reading on Buddhism, that’s pretty common. But I’m sure if I did 365 days of kindness, I’d be quicker on forgiveness too.
    Thanks, as always. You make me think.

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Cindie Geddes

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